Do Leaders Really Live and Breathe the Values They Say They Say They Do?

Admin
Nov 27
4 min read

Over the years in leadership, I’ve often paused to reflect on a simple yet confronting question: Do we, as leaders, truly live and breathe the values we say we do?

Having worked across multiple sectors, from IT and sales to education, I’ve experienced very different cultures, pressures, and measures of success. In sales, it was all about targets and conversion. In IT, efficiency and innovation ruled. And in education, it’s about purpose, impact, and people.Across these environments, one thing has stood out consistently: the difference between a good leader and a trusted leader is not what they say, but what they consistently do.

Faith, Integrity, and Fallibility

As someone with a strong Muslim faith, my values are deeply anchored in the principles of honesty, respect, compassion, and accountability. They’re not abstract ideas, they are the moral compass that guides how I lead, how I make decisions, and how I treat people.

Faith, for me, is about alignment between belief and behaviour. It’s easy to speak about values when things are going well. The real test is when situations challenge your patience, humility, or ethics. Do you still hold onto your principles when a shortcut could make your life easier? When admitting fault might cost you credibility? When doing the right thing is the harder path?

And I’ll be honest, even with faith and conviction, I don’t always get it right. There have been moments where pressure, frustration, or fatigue have clouded my judgement. But those moments have taught me the importance of reflection and repentance, of stepping back, acknowledging mistakes, and realigning with what I stand for. That’s what integrity really is: not perfection, but consistency and self-awareness.

Leadership Beyond the Workplace

As a parent of two young children, my perspective on leadership has changed completely. Children are the most honest mirrors of who we are. They don’t care what your job title is, they watch your actions, your tone, your patience, and your character.

I’ve realised that true leadership begins at home.It’s in how I handle frustration when they test my limits, how I model kindness when they make mistakes, and how I demonstrate resilience when things don’t go to plan. If I want them to grow up with empathy, integrity, and courage, I must first show them what that looks like.

And that’s the same in the workplace. Teams, like children, observe what we do far more than what we say.If we preach collaboration but act in silos, people notice.If we promote wellbeing but glorify overworking, they notice.If we talk about respect but fail to listen, they notice.

Culture isn’t created by posters or policies, it’s shaped by daily behaviours. It’s the micro-decisions we make:

How we speak about others when they’re not in the room.
How we respond when someone challenges our ideas.
Whether we prioritise people or process when things go wrong.

Living Your Values When It’s Hard

Leading with values is easy when things are calm. The challenge comes when there’s conflict, tight deadlines, or criticism. I’ve learned that these moments are the most revealing, they expose whether your values are truly lived or merely recited.

I remember early in my leadership journey, being in a meeting where I was under pressure to approve something I didn’t feel was ethically right. It would have been the easier choice to stay quiet, avoid friction, and move on. But my faith reminded me that silence, in the face of what you believe is wrong, is not neutrality, it’s complicity. So, I spoke up. It wasn’t comfortable, but in hindsight, it strengthened trust, not just with others, but within myself.

And that’s the paradox of authentic leadership, it often requires vulnerability. It means admitting when you’re unsure. Apologising when you’ve fallen short. Listening more than you speak. It’s not about always being right, but always being real.

Questions Worth Asking Ourselves

Here are some questions I continue to ask myself, and ones I’d encourage every leader to reflect on:

When pressure builds, do my choices still reflect my values, or do I bend them to meet immediate goals?
Would my team describe me as someone who lives our values, or someone who talks about them?
How often do I pause to reflect, not just on my results, but on whether my actions align with my faith and principles?
When I make mistakes, do I own them, learn from them, and make amends?
Am I the same person in private as I am in public?
If my children or my team observed me for a week, what would they say my real values are, not the ones in a handbook, but the ones I embody daily?

The Real Meaning of Authentic Leadership

Authentic leadership isn’t about perfection, it’s about alignment. It’s about recognising that who you are matters more than what you achieve.

Values aren’t for decoration; they’re for direction. They should shape our decisions, ground our egos, and remind us that leadership is a privilege, one built on trust, not titles.

So I’ll leave you with this reflection:

If your values only exist within the workplace, they’re not truly your values. But when they guide how you live, how you lead, and how you treat others, at home, at work, and in your community, that’s when you are truly leading with authenticity and integrity.